


Chasing Bubbles

by Corinne K (Corinne_K)



Category: Free!
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, First Kiss, First Time, Friendship, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corinne_K/pseuds/Corinne%20K
Summary: Rin is back in Australia for college. Ikuya leaves the US but does not follow Hiyori to Japan. Haruka is at a crossroads.A story of encounters, doubts and decisions told through the eyes of three boys.





	1. Chapter 1

There were little signs in Hiyori’s face that always betrayed his stoic persona. Ikuya broke the news about his impending move to Australia between a sip of coffee and a bite of toast. He didn’t want to care, but he easily spotted the worry, disappointment and betrayal that did not take a second to surface. Hiyori turned stiff in his seat.

“I thought we were going to Tokyo.”

“The last book I read in Japanese was the little mermaid”, he argued, “might be a bit hard to actually graduate. Besides,” he added as an afterthought, “I need to focus on my swimming.”

Hiyori moved his lips to protest, but a hard glance from Ikuya made him stop in his tracks. The tedious endless argument about Hiyori’s obsession with Ikuya did not reemerge. Was he fleeing the constant attention, the oppressive concern, the pity, the compliments and sweet words turned sour? Was it cowardly to run away? And so what if he was? Ikuya wanted to be himself and by himself. Hiyori would just have to deal with it.

 

* * *

 

The mood at the aquatic complex was surprisingly lively and casual. Ikuya was glad he did not end up in Tokyo. Someone had told him that there was another Japanese training in the same centre, but Ikuya hadn’t met him in the week or so that he’d been in town. He basked in the anonymity. It felt liberating.

It was only well into the second week that a tall, broad shouldered red head walked up to him on the pool side.

“I heard there was another Japanese, so I came to say hi. I’m Matsuoka Rin. Nice to meet you!”

Rin was impressive in a magnetic kind of way and his talent in the pool was hard to miss. When they walked out together after training, conversation happened naturally, even though they had just met and Ikuya knew just how much his social skills were lacking. It was as though Rin had been wired - or trained - to get along with people like him. Still, he couldn’t allow himself to latch on to the attention. He was sick of depending on others. He would seek his own strength, even if that meant shooting back one liners at his brother and outright ignoring Hiyori’s texts and calls. Even if it meant keeping friendly, attractive, _magnetic_ Rin Matsuoka at arm’s length.

In the pool, however, the water kept fighting back without mercy. Weeks turned into months and his performance kept dwindling.

One evening, when he was about to leave the pool, Rin came over to offer him a hand. A hot rage simmered inside Ikuya. He felt like punching the condescending grin out of his face. Instead, he got rid of his goggles and cap and took the extended hand.

“Wanna talk?”

“I’m fine.”

“Dinner?”

“I’m not hungry”, Ikuya let his exasperation sip through. “And I’m fine really, you don’t need to coddle me. We’re the same age.”

Rin shrugged. “I’ll be at the North Olympic Pool tomorrow afternoon. Come over if you want.”

* * *

 

Against his best judgement, Ikuya found himself packing his swimming gear and heading to Sydney harbour. It was just a few laps on a Sunday afternoon, it wouldn’t hurt. To his amazement, he didn’t find Rin in the pool, but on the deck, sprawled on a sun bed, reading a book. He had his hat on, and wayfarer sunglasses, but instead of the usual black and red leg skins, he was wearing board shorts with some funny shark pattern.

“Oi! Ikuya! Glad you came!” He lifted up his hat and waved, as if Rin Matsuoka would somehow fade in the background because of a silly hat. 

Ikuya approached and gingerly took a seat next to Rin. There, amid the laidback Sunday crowd, he couldn’t feel more misplaced. But the surprises kept coming, as Ikuya found himself dragged to the recreational area, braving a hoard of kids and inflatable mythical animals. Rin leaned against the wall and observed the scene, leisurely drawing circles with his feet.

“Do you even remember doing this as a kid? To play in the water?” Rin asked, seemingly absentminded. “Us Japanese are all business when it comes to these things, don’t you think?”

“I don’t think so… but maybe other people do…”

“Since an early age I was all fired up. I wanted to be the fastest, the best… it took some setbacks to put things in perspective.”

“Setbacks? You?” 

Even as Rin told the tale of his first adventure in Australia, Ikuya could not wrap his head around Rin being in a slump. The whole thing seemed unlikely, but he couldn’t say he did not relate - except that for Rin it had apparently been a phase, a childish thing that went away before the end of high school, whereas for him…

“… and it was like that until he taught me how to swim free…”

Ikuya’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop with that sentence. The words sounded familiar.

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

“What did you say just now?”

“Something about high school? Nevermind! I’m just talking nonsense at this point! Shall we swim?”

Ikuya followed Rin, still curios about the strange choice of words, but the other boy was already putting on his goggles and shooting for the nearest track - less crowded, except for a few older swimmers, doing laps in lazy breaststroke.

Rin kicked the wall and quickly picked up speed. Thoughts of Haru and shooting stars took Ikuya’s mind by storm, as he struggled to keep up with Rin’s relentless crawl. It went on for a 200 meter warm up, a short pause and then what he recognised as one of Rin’s training sets. After the first few laps of confusion and frustration, Ikuya managed to reduce the distance between them on the track. The rhythm was cutthroat for what was supposed to be a leisurely Sunday swim, but Ikuya was rising up to the challenge. He was not quite prepared to admit it, but he had missed and craved that challenge. The water ahead was in constant turmoil from Rin’s kick. He was chasing bubbles, his chest tight, heart jumping out his throat, and a familiar fuzzy feeling in his core, a thrill that had been long absent from his life.

They turned again and Rin took off on his trademark butterfly. Ikuya followed. He excelled on all styles, he could do all by himself, he did not ally with anyone, did not chase anyone.

“But why am I here then?”

As the water swung ahead, bubbles now gone, Ikuya felt himself sinking. “Not again. Not now!” His strokes were powerless. He saw himself waking up in the hospital again. Perhaps this time he would just stop trying...

But by the time he’d formed these thoughts Ikuya was already being pulled upwards, a bulky arm looped around his his chest. In a second he was gasping for breath and the next he was looking into the eyes of a concerned red haired boy.

“You ok man?”

Rin’s face was transfigured. His eyes were wider than before, his lips parted and his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“I’m sorry.”

Rin seemed to snap at that.

“Let’s get out.”

As Rin pulled him out of the pool, Ikuya tried his best to fight back the tears welling up in his eyes. He was led back to the resting area, now less crowded.

Rin sat him down and threw a towel his way.

“Now spill it.”

Ikuya looked at Rin rather forlornly. Maybe he should open up and tell Rin about his other episodes, when he’d ended up in the hospital, about his inability to rise up competitively and how that was throwing him off balance, about his brother, about Hiyori and how he couldn’t truly connect with either, about the memories of distant past that still haunted him and held him back. Instead, Ikuya lowered his gaze and decided he would say none of that.

Rin observed him for a while, taken aback, then sighed-

“Fine, you don’t need to talk to me. I’ll just report the incident to the coaches and they’ll deal with it.” Seeing Ikuya turn livid he added, “you don’t suppose I can just watch you drown and do nothing about it?”

Ikuya balled his fists. “You have no right...”

“Look, you clearly need to work through some issues, and I don’t intend to mother you or anything, but what just happened… man, you could have died…” Rin shook his head, as if shaking off the idea. “Anyway, I’ll let you off the hook if you promise me you’ll get help.”

Ikuya considered just nodding to get past this, but then Rin was speaking again, and there was a quirky glint in his eye, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

“… and the second condition is - you joining me in a relay.”

“Excuse me?”

“A relay. Medley relay. I will do butterfly. You can pick whatever you fancy.”

This was a whole new level of random, even for Rin, who now sported a wild grin, shark teeth and all.

“I don’t do relays”, Ikuya dismissed.

“It’s not optional,” Rin clarified, same grin still plastered on his face, that somehow looked softer now, more boyish.

“Why?”

“Let’s just say that I have always had an inordinate amount of love for medley relays”.

The last rays of sun grazed their skin and vanished, as did the talk about drowning and relays. When the time came they parted ways. Ikuya watched Rin stroll down the street towards the train station, as he waited for the bus. His loneliness and the clenching of his chest when he recalled all his shortcomings were still there, but the happy sway in the other boy’s steps somehow felt warm, like the late afternoon sun. As he went to bed that night the thought of participating in a relay still gave him mixed feelings, and he was not sure how he would face that challenge, but his desire to swim - better, faster, more perfectly - burned stronger in his limbs.

On that very night, Rin Matsuoka disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

“Take it easy, hey, she’s an old lady,” Russel drawled in his warm Australianaccent, before placing a set of bare metal keys on the palm of Rin’s hand.

Russel had bought the Landy some time after Rin left for Japan, although they kept the family car, mostly for Lori’s use. Perhaps the idea of driving the old British all road made Russel fantasize about exploring the Outback after he’d finally retired.

Rin sat behind the wheel and adjusted the mirrors. Russel scratched his head.

“Those driving lessons back in Japan... sure you can handle a bigger vehicle?”

“Come on dear, stop pestering Rin. I’m sure he knows what’s he’s doing.”

Russel sighed at his wife's admonishment, then turned to Rin.

“She has a few kinks you have to get used to - the fourth needs a nudge to the left or it will screech, and...”

The stream of advice came to a halt when his wife poked his ribs. Perched on the outside of the Land Rover’s window, the couple seemed positively adorable. Lori passed Rin a different set of keys.

“There you go dear boy. Have fun!”

Rin gave them a thankful nod and turned the keys. The engine roared proudly inside the garage. Russel and Lori took a step back, the man looping an arm around his wife’s waist. They shared a knowing look. Seriously, was he that transparent?

He drove off and easily found his way around the familiar neighbourhood. First stop: supermarket.

* * *

 

10 hours earlier:

The thought of a relay danced languidly in his mind as he strolled from the train station back to his studio. He climbed the stairs, opened the door and tossed his bag to one corner, proceeding to slump on his bed with a sigh. 

His hand instinctively dug into his pocket and closed around his phone. It would be nice to hear that deadpan voice in times like these. Haru would probably advise him to focus on All Japan and stop fooling around, but he knew that in the end he would be happy to know that, this time around, Rin was happy in Australia - that this time it was worth it.

At the same time, he found himself replaying the strange scenes of that afternoon in his mind. He had been swimming with Kirishima at the public pool, sharing the same lane, with the other boy steadily catching up to his intentionally fast pace. And then he had felt it, perhaps in the dullness of the water around him, or through a sixth sense he didn’t know he possessed - something was off. He forced himself to stop. His feet hit the bottom of the pool and pivoted. He saw Kirishima underwater, looking eerily still, sinking. His body sprung into action on its own accord. He pulled the boy out and saw the look of terror, mortification, heard the breathless apology and at that moment he knew that it wasn’t the first time. Perhaps he should drop a text to Sousuke. He would know what to do. Just as his fingers started feeling for the phone on the floor, though, the device started vibrating. He reached for it and held the screen above his face. He was met with the silly bloated face of Iwatobi-chan, and, beneath it, the name Nanase Haruka.

“Yo,” he answered almost immediately.

“Rin, it’s me.”

“What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Somehow, in that almost neutral tone, Rin could perceive a sense of urgency.

“I’m all ears”, he coaxed.

“No, not like this… Listen, I’ll need you to pick me up.”

“Pick you up...?” The words came out one by one, as the wheels fell into place and it dawned on him that Haru had to be joking. There was a pause, a sound of rustling, then Haru continued,

“I’m on flight NH879. I’ll be there in the morning.”

The next moments were of sheer panic.

“What? Haru, are you...? You are... Damn. You are serious. What’s wrong? Did something happen? You’re supposed to train...”

“I’m fine. I just... I need to board now. I’ll see you...?”

“Of course, Haru, I’ll be there.”

And just like that, the call came to an end. Rin tried to tell himself that it was a prank after all. He waited for Nagisa or Momo’s voice in a second call that never came. He finally tried to wrap his head around the idea: Haru in Sydney. Flesh and bone and eyes like the ocean. Haru, whose warmth still lingered on Rin’s skin, months after one solitary embrace.

In the following minutes, Rin got filled in on all the latest intel. Makoto said that Haru qualified for All Japan and went to a training camp. There was some kind of change in attitude after that, but Makoto couldn’t pinpoint the reason - or, rather, did not seem particularly willing to tell Rin what it might be. In the end, Makoto was not any less cryptic than Haru himself, leaving Rin with a final piece of advice that would sound completely meaningless, had it not come from psychic in chief Makoto Tachibana:

“Until you manage to talk, please don’t let him swim.”

That was obviously not an easy task, as Makoto was well aware (maybe it was all a test of some sort...). He began to wonder how he could possibly achieve that feat. When, a few hours later, the answer came to him in the form of a TV advert, he had to pat himself in the back - except that he’d be owing Russel and Lori... big time.

* * *

 

 

When the word next to flight NH879 went from “expected” to “landed” Rin let out a breath of relief. Assuming Haru would only bring hand luggage (the idiot was probably travelling with just his sports bag), it would not take long for him to come out. Rin paced the arrival hall, pulling out a sightseeing flyer here, reading the exchange rates of several currencies on a screen there, until the familiar cadence of Japanese chatter caught his attention. He scanned the area once, twice, went back to pacing for a while, but eventually came back to lean on a pillar, close to the passenger exit.

Haru came out the glass door sporting his usual nonchalance, if seemingly tired from the overnight flight. Rin took it as a good sign that this time he was travelling with a proper backpack. When their eyes met, Haru made a beeline to Rin, with such raw determination in his step, that, for a moment, Rin believed he would get pounced.

“Welcome!” he greeted, trying his best to sound casual and not intimidated by the deep blue gaze that scanned him from head to toe.

No good, he thought. The best defense is attack.

“Just knock it off and give me a hug. Idiot.”

Probably the worst line of the century, but at least it gave Rin the momentum he needed to loop his arms around Haru’s shoulders and bump their chests. Rin meant it as a sort of jovial and manly greeting, but the facade fell down when Haru wrapped his arms around his waist and let his head melt gently over Rin’s shoulder.

So light, and still a bit stilted, but much more than what Rin had offered. Haru pulled back to look at him, knitting his brows ever so slightly.

“Idiot.” He breathed, and let his body go soft in Haru’s arms.

Walking to the parking lot, both felt sufficiently acclimatized to the particular brand of normal that had always existed between them - in their good days. A mix of banter, sass and companionship that made Rin feel oh-so-alive. In this state of growing comfort, he had no qualms when he let his hand lightly brush past Haru’s, or when he flicked his finger at Haru’s chin to close his mouth when they reached the car.

“You’re driving?”

He smirked in reply and spun the key ring around his index. Haru frowned.

“Is it safe?”

“Of course it’s safe. I told you I’m a better driver than you.”

“I doubt it.”

“Just get in, I’ll show you.”

They got in and easily drove off from the airport. True to Russel’s words, the gearbox did have some kinks and the first time Rin tried to go into fourth gear, the box screeched loudly and the car hiccuped, losing speed. Rin could see the mirth in his companion’s face even as he struggled with the gearstick to find the sweet spot, and the box kept screeching and snapping.

“Number one driver in Australia”, Haru deadpanned.

 

* * *

 

Haru realised they were not going to Sydney when they began to climb some kind of hill and the vegetation became more lush. They had not brushed the subject of a possible plan for the coming days. In truth, Rin should have given Haru the choice, but he had decided to venture a surprise. When he finally explained his intentions, they were almost half way through the one-hour drive.

“Russel and Lori have a cabin in the Blue Mountains. I was there a couple of times when I lived with them. I thought you’d like to see something different, since you already know the city…”

“How long are we staying there?”

“We should go for a hike, it’s nice to see the view at sunrise. They’re called blue mountains because they look blue with the morning mist. I think you’ll like that. Then we can try a cable car ride or a water fall. So, one or two nights?”

“Then I guess that will be fine.”

They arrived at the cabin a few minutes after noon. Rin got busy taking their stuff out of the car and figuring out how to grill the mackerel fillets that he had dutifully purchased right after picking up the car. Haru stood on the porch for a while, then walked further down the yard, from where one could catch a glimpse of the hills. Even from a distance, Rin took in the body language. Haru seemed relaxed. Bringing him there had been a good idea after all.

The clumsily pan fried fish fillets were an excuse for yet more teasing and banter, but it was also apparent that Haru was pleased. After the meal they sat lazily on the carpet that partially covered the hard wood floor, overlooking the yard, while Rin babbled about the mountains, the stories behind the trinkets perched on every piece of furniture, plans for the next day...

The idea was to fill up the space until Haru felt comfortable to address the reason for his visit. After a while, though, it seemed that Haru’s tongue would remain tied, if nothing was done.

After a moment of silence, a fair count of side glances and false starts, Rin finally asked,

“Haru, why are you here?”

More than anxiety, it was hope that lingered in his mouth after the words came out. Rin’s mind went back to their embrace at the airport - so much closer, more intimate than he had offered. A mirror image of that other embrace - in Iwatobi, right before Rin’s departure to Sydney, an embrace that left them both shaking out of sheer emotion - tears running down Rin’s eyes. An embrace that could have been a kiss.

“I’m here because I can’t decide if I can live without you.”

Haru’s words were uttered with eyes locked on the hands that rested idle in his lap.

“You... What?”

Haru stretched his arm to where his bag lay by the wall, together with the other stuff Rin had packed. He opened it and pulled out a neat plastic file with some A4 sheets within it. He gestured Rin to take it. They exchanged a glance and then Rin took out the papers.

The first one was an e-mail print-out from someone with the handle “bergman”. The text was written in polite and rather formal English, referring to a recent practice session in Tokyo and offering Haru a training contract in Stockholm, Sweden. Rin felt his heart swell. Haru had landed an international training offer and he couldn’t help but feeling insanely proud.

“I knew it was just a matter of time! Congratulations Haru!”

“Rin, read the other one.”

The second email was written in Japanese characters (noticeably without any kanji), and was peppered with mistakes and flowery terms. It ended in the same way: a coaching offer. It was signed by Mikhail Makarovich.

His jaw went slack.

“Haru?” He almost screamed.

Haru looked at him with a face that said “so you finally understand?”

“So that’s why you’re here! You need to meet him, right?”

“Yes, Rin, he paid my ticket, but...”

“And I brought you to the middle of nowhere... I’m sorry, Haru. I’m an idiot. But you should have said something, jeez...”

The idea of Haru in Sydney sounded wonderful and exhilarating and it was all too fast, but he just kept grinning like an idiot. Until a sudden realisation hit him.

“H-hang on a second!”

Now it was his turn to scan Haru from head to toe. If his pervert of a coach had made Haru an offer, they ought to be there somewhere, under those baggy clothes of his. On a silly impulse that made perfect sense at the time, he grasped Haru’s bicep.

“I knew it!”

To add insult to injury, he reached for the other side and measured Haru with his outstretched arms, while the other boy just let himself be manhandled, perhaps hoping that Rin’s antics would eventually calm down.

“What the hell have you been doing? You’re ripped!”

Haru just shrugged.

“I’ve been training ‘butter’.”

That was the last straw. He saw it clearly then, in a fiery image in his mind. Haru wanted to beat him at his own game, in his own turf. It made him... mad? Or something else? He pressed forward and pinned Haru under his weight.

“What the hell did you just say?”

Haru’s blue eyes remained unfazed, even if their noses could almost touch.

“You heard it. I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Cocky.

“But more importantly, Rin, we need to talk.”

Haru pushed Rin back and came to a sitting position. They quietly disengaged.

As it turns out, the first email was sent by no less than the coach of the current 100m free world record holder. It should have rung a bell, because Mikhail did say something about a swede going to Tokyo for joint training, some time ago. Seems that Haru had raced the guy and lost bad. Suddenly, Haru in Sydney turned into a mirage. The guy’s name - Albert - left Haru’s lips once, twice. The swim off had been unreal. Haru had been crushed and overwhelmed, but he spoke as though he had had the time of his life. The last 16 hours had been a hell of a rollercoaster, but now Rin finally felt the tingling at the tip of his stomach that signalled the fall.

“Rin, you’re not saying anything.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

Haru tipped his head to the side,

“Are you jealous?”

 Leave it to Haru to be a complete dick at the worst of times. 

“I don’t know, Haru. Just… let me get some air. Have a rest. I got some fliers. Here - you can decide what you want to do tomorrow.”

The wind outside turned the “get some air” figure of speech into something quite literal. It blew head on as Rin walked down the road, and later when he stopped at a small look out. It felt good. With just a phone call last evening, Haru had stormed into his life, promised him the world and then dropped him down a cliff. Why bother with Sydney if his mind was made up? He had a new rival, a new goal. Rin was the past, a childhood thing. Too bad that for him, it remained all too real.

When he re-entered the cabin, Haru was asleep on the floor, head resting on a canvas cushion, some of the fliers lying around him. A strip of afternoon sun brushed his fingertips where they lay careless, and black locks fell lightly over a thick line of lashes. So beautiful. He had always been this way. Simple, gorgeous, a force of nature, a tidal wave. Rin sat on the couch opposite the sleeping figure. Haru opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Rin greeted.

“Hey.”

“Did you get to rest?”

“A bit.”

A mutual small smile.

“I’m sorry,” two voices overlapped. Then both chuckled in synchrony. Rin stayed silent, Haru spoke,

“I didn’t come here to tease you, and I haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Don’t say that just because you know I like you!” Rin snapped. “Stockholm can be good for you. It can be your chance and you know it. I don’t know why you’re even here, honestly.”

He had hidden his gaze in the comfort of the floor, so the only warning was a slight shadow on his field of vision and a tickle on his ear. He looked up and found Haru’s eyes staring straight into his, Haru’s hand gently tucking a red lock behind his ear.

“Rin, I like you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Thank you for reading so far! This is unbetaed so please excuse any mistakes!


	3. Chapter 3

“Nanase-kun suki desu!”

A girl stood stiff and slightly curved facing him in the empty classroom. She had black hair styled in soft waves that swirled down to her waist. She was slender and her legs appeared to subtly tremble under her uniform skirt.

 _Why_?

In his hands rested a neatly wrapped bento box, heavy and still warm, probably prepared on that same morning.

He looked up and her glossy lips were speaking again, her crystalline voice filling up the space.

“I saw Nanase-kun at the swimming competition,” she paused, cheeks flaring red at the implications of that statement, “Nanase-kun was the best swimmer of all.”

So this was the girl Asahi had been pestering him about for weeks - big eyes and curvy legs, a solid 10, he’d said, before filling him in on all the gossip collected by Kisumi.

_I like you Nanase-kun._

A rush of panic ran through him and his body moved, leaving the image of the girl behind. The bento box landed on the wooden desktop as an afterthought. Hasty steps led him across the yard, into the familiar building, through the locker room and onto the pool deck. He paused to take a breath. He still couldn’t make sense of what had just happened.

Club activities wouldn’t begin for a few hours, so the pool was completely empty, water still and glistening in the noon sun. Haru dropped his bag on the bench and shrugged off his uniform jacket, shirt, and then he kicked his pants. Finally in his swimming square legs, he took a floppy dive, emerging near the centre of the 25 meter pool. He swam a few laps, then flipped over and let his body float, trying to vanquish any thoughts from his mind.

His blissful solitude was interrupted when a mop of red hair leaned over him. Asahi was squatting by the pool, on his full uniform, barefoot.

“Nanase.” 

The look wasn’t full on murderous but it was close.

“You walked out on Sayaka-san.”

The clouds kept dancing overhead, changing shape on a whim, but he was unavoidably pulled back from the weightless realm of being alone. _How troublesome_.

“Her friend told Kisumi. Nanase, you need to fix it.”

His weight shifted and his toes touched the bottom, hair that had been free now sticking to his temples. His eyes followed the shades of the clouds on the water surface. He didn’t like the idea of someone crying over him. It was unfair, because he’d done nothing - he was innocent, considering the chain of events that had led to the present point. But still-

“How?” He asked.

Asahi grinned. “You have to take her on a date.”

He didn’t like it, but if that was the only way to overcome this, he would do it.

In the following days Asahi, Kisumi and the girl who was supposedly Sayaka’s best friend organised the whole event.

“You don’t need to do this,” Makoto frowned. They were walking home, along the sea front. Makoto had been quiet for a while. Those were the first words he could muster for the whole walk. Haru didn’t know what to say. He threw a sideway glance at his friend and found something wistful in his eyes.

“Ah,” he replied, but he had already decided to go on with the charade.

It was late spring and the day was warm. Sayaka was wearing white corsairs and a light green tunic that revealed just a sliver of her pale collar bone. Haru bough two cups of shaved ice with grape syrup, ice cream and taro balls. They walked around Iwatobi at a slow pace. The recollection of the topics they talked about dissipated with time, but he could still remember the taste of grape syrupin his mouth, the floral notes of her perfume, the excitement in her voice. All those patches would eventually merge with the memory of their lips touching - quick and light - just before they parted, a block away from her house. The idea of Sayaka would always be a memory of too sweet grape syrup and something else that he couldn’t stomach any better. They never talked after that day.

 

* * *

 

“Oi, Haru-“

An irritated baritone came from the back of the room. He turned to find Rin holding a water bottle and a hiking baton in his direction.

“Stop dozing off. It’s getting late.”

He picked himself up from the wooden floor where they had slept and put on the light jacket Rin had told him to wear, then followed his friend out the door.

On the previous night, after their impromptu confessions, things had slowly simmered back to normal. Rin had wanted him to try lamb rack at a famous barbecue place, so they had gotten on the Land Rover again and drove to restaurant. The food was tasty, even for someone who prefers fish to meat. When they got back to the cabin, the night had fallen. They had sat down on the floor, finally going through the fliers that Rin had picked up from the airport and making plans for the next day.

Those plans began with a hike to see some rock formations at sunrise, and so they were out early, walking up the road with head lamps lighting the way, the reflectors on Rin’s jacket glowing in the dim light of dawn. At some point along the road they got on a trail, away from the road. Makoto would be completely freaking out if he were there, with all the concealed sounds of nature.

“Makoto would be freaking out by now,” he heard from the man leading the way, an echo of his own thoughts.

“Yep,” he chuckled.

They walked briskly with Rin on the lead, fending off stray tree branches and finding their footing through slippery stone paths. He was thankful for the extra pair of boots Rin had brought. He would have fallen and injured himself by now if he were wearing his light trainers.

“When did you get into nature hikes?”

Rin’s headlamp tilted backward, a smirk visible beneath the round glow.

“It’s good for stamina.”

As the day began to brighten, streams of crystal water, gushing waterfalls and rows of tree canopies became visible.

“You better be ready, because we are going to climb!”

At Rin’s warning, a seemingly endless stairway rose in front of them. They embraced the challenge, taking step after breathless step until the end finally came to view.

“Ready?”

Haru looked up and found Rin grinning, body twisted backward, feet planted on separate steps, and a hand outstretched towards him.

“Hah.”

Their hands clasped together and Haru let himself be pulled up the last few steps and atop a large boulder. Just as the landscape on the other side opened to a wide expanse of hills and cliffs, with three oddly shaped peaks lined up ahead, the sun rose over the horizon.

They quietly took in the scene - Rin squatting on the boulder and Haru sitting on his heels beside his friend, hands still united.

“It really is blue,” Haru broke the silence.

Rin gave him a smirk that said “told you so”.

“Worth the workout?”

“Yeah,” he replied, without a doubt in his mind.

At that moment, their eyes locked and, in unison, flicked down to their joined hands. Haru shrugged, Rin giggled.

“Romantic, huh?”

“Whatever,” Haru muttered, lowering his gaze.

Like a broken spell, their hands came apart.

“Come,” Rin urged, his legs extending again as he began to climb down the boulder. Haru followed, this time unaided.

The walk from there was not long. They were both emitting cavernous sounds from their insides when Rin stopped by a stone bench and declared that it was time for _brekkie_.

Haru was surprised to see Rin produce from his backpack two neatly wrapped bento boxes, two sets of travel chopsticks and a thermos. He unscrewed the cap, which turned into a cup and poured the steaming liquid into it.

“O-cha?”

“Thank you,” Haru accepted the cup, dumbfounded. It smelled fragrant and nutty. Oolong. He inhaled the aromatic steam, pressing the cup to his lips.

“I didn’t bring another cup, sorry… I hope you don’t mind to share.”

Haru’s eyes went wide, but he nodded. Rin gestured him to open the lunch box. He carefully untied the olive green cloth and separated the two tiers of stacked boxes. In the lower tier there was a piece of grilled salmon and white rice, with the smallest bunch of lettuce and a cherry tomato cut in half. The top tier contained a simple miso soup.

“Rin… When did you…?”

“While you were sleeping. There’s an outdoor barbecue, so I used that. Didn’t want to wake you up with the smell.”

Haru felt a sudden pang in his stomach. It all seemed unreal, as though the plane that took off from Tokyo landed on another dimension.

“Come one, don’t just look at it… eat!” Rin urged, grinning silly.

Haru smiled to himself and dug in.

 

* * *

 

They stayed out most of the day. After breakfast and another walk, Rin brought them to a crazy funicular ride that passed right through a rock. After that, they headed to a nearby town. Haru bought souvenirs for Makoto and the others and, after a late lunch, they took the bus back to Russell and Lory’s cabin.

They sat side by side, Haru by the window, Rin lazily sprawled and playing with his phone. Every now and then he would show Haru some funny video or meme that someone had sent him. When he was not looking at Rin’s busy social media feed, Haru would just lean against the glass window and watch the landscape go by, with the monotone sound of the engine slowly lulling him to a state of mellow sleepiness.

It was with heavy steps that they covered the last few meters between the bus stop and the driveway leading to the cabin, where the Land Rover was parked, and finally into the warm living room.

Rin drew the curtains to let the golden lights of sunset in, filtered through fragmented shades of leaves from the yard. Haru was momentarily alone to peruse the pictures on the walls and the objects that decorated the space, as Rin busied himself unpacking and washing their lunch boxes, then going further into the parts of the house that they had foregone the previous day. Then Rin came over almost unnoticed and placed his hands on Haru’s shoulders.

“Haru, I found a bath in the master bedroom. I never used that bathroom when I came here with them, but I’m sure it’s ok… if you want to soak…”

“It’s ok, we’re already imposing,” Haru halfheartedly declined. Rin had read his mind. After a tiring day in the forest he was dying for a bath…

“I- … we-“ Rin hesitated, “I will make sure everything is left absolutely as it it. Don’t worry. I know you need it.”

Haru thought he saw a wink. A now familiar pang hit him. _There are so many layers to you, Rin. That’s exactly why I needed to see you now…_

“Ok… I’ll have a bath then,” he said.

“Great. Wait here. I’ll set it for you.”

“What about you?” He blurted out before he could process the implications of the question. He lowered his gaze and took a few seconds before he mustered the courage to look back up. Rin was obviously sporting a mischievous toothy grin. But when their eyes met, something in that smile softened.

“I’ll take a shower in the other bathroom. I know better than getting between you and water.”

With that said, Rin showed Haru the way to the ensuite bathroom, opened the tap and passed him a rolled up towel, leaving him to it.

The tub was deep and roomy and the water at a pleasant cool temperature. There were twin bottles of hotel lavender liquid soap and shampoo on the side wall.

Haru laid there languidly letting the water melt the stiffness on his body, and his thoughts run freely after a day of intense one on one contact, with no room for solitude. It had been his first full day with Rin since his last trip to Australia. That other trip had showed him the depth of Rin’s kindness - how he had been ready to lift him up when he was sinking, even with an over-the-top gesture like that. That certainty mattered, but it was not enough. This second trip was all about the changes that could happen between them, and how their relationship might -or might not - survive them. But he could not say that he feared those changes - he wanted them, and if he was able to read Rin at least a bit, he knew his friend wanted them too. But that next step could also fall on a hopeless void. He sighed. Stockholm, Tokyo, Sydney. How could he choose? Was it fair to burden Rin with that choice?

Suddenly annoyed with the direction his inner flow had taken, he rose from the water and pulled the towel from the hook. He had tan lines on his neck, arms and knees. Maybe if he stayed here longer they could do this regularly. He wouldn’t forget to bring sunscreen then.

He dried himself and put on a clean t-shirt and cotton shorts. The smooth fabric embraced his skin and made him relax once again. It was time to go back to Rin.

The comforters they had used the night before had been smoothed up and laid out as makeshift futons, no quite side by side, but not far apart. A lamp perched over the coffee table was the only lighting. Rin was watching something on his laptop and there were mugs and a plate of cookies beside it.

Rin finally noticed him when he was lowering himself to sit on the opposite side of the table.

“You must be hungry...”

Rin’s voice was mellow and he was also dressed for sleep, in a loose tank top and grey cotton pants.

“What is this?” He gestured to the mug.

“Milo,” Rin said, picking up a round tin in a green wrapping, “it’s good for swimmers,” he said, pointing at the figure above the logo, a female swimmer on butterfly stroke, surrounded by water droplets.

“Oh, _thank you_ ,” Haru said in English. He moved his hands to get the mug, but Rin was faster.

“There. Careful, it’s hot.”

Rin passed him the mug carefully, but when he pulled back his hands he did a double take and quickly brushed Haru’s knuckles with his palm. Haru’s eyes were still lingering on that same spot when he heard Rin’s voice in that impossibly mellow tone.

“Haru, did you really mean it yesterday? ... that you like me?”

Haru’s breath hitched. He looked up to find Rin’s eyes downcast.

“Hmm,” was all he managed.

Then Rin finally looked up and brought his hand to the back of his neck, in an unwitting show of biceps. A slight blush graced his cheekbones.

“Sorry, I... don’t really know...”

Rin was fumbling and Haru was starting to get an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“... I don’t really know how to go about this.” He lowered his arm. “Shit!” He cursed. “Haru, I’ve never been with anyone! I don’t know what to do!”

With that, the knot that had been forming inside him eased its pressure. He felt a little giddy and had to tell himself not to laugh at his friend’s flustered figure.

“Rin...”

“I’m sorry!”

“Rin...” a wicked grin was creeping into his lips, even as he tried hard to maintain a straight face. “... you can tackle me like that time.”

Rin’s jaw slightly slacked and his eyes went wide. It somehow boosted Haru’s confidence, because next he was saying, without a tinge of self consciousness,

“I can still remember the taste of your tears.”

He hadn’t expected Rin to react so fast, but it wasn’t a brutish thing either. Rin rounded the table and placed his hands on Haru’s shoulders, exercising just the right amount of pressure to gently push him back. Haru braced himself on his elbows, then allowed Rin to push him all the way down, back against the wooden boards.

Rin’s eyes darkened. Their mix-matched breathing patterns began to synchronise, and for a moment the only sound that ran between them was that mutual inhale and exhale.Then Rin let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t really feel like crying today, Haru.”

_Oh, it’s happening…_

Haru closed his eyes. A puff of damp breath preceded the light brush of hair tips against his temples, which, in turn, preceded the light press of lips against his. There were other sensations competing for his awareness - hard wood beneath him, a touch of chest against chest and a void between them further down, fabric clad knees touching his bare ones on the outside, fingers carding through his hair - but all his senses had tunnelled to that point of contact, to the clumsy brushing and nibbling, mixed with a faint taste of chocolate. They let the kiss deepen just a notch before they broke apart for air.

Rin was breathing hard, smiling sheepishly.

“Was that ok?” His voice just a thin whisper.

Haru pulled him down this time, threading fingers through red locks, leaving his eyes open to witness the surprise in Rin’s eyes and the moment when they fluttered closed. 

“Yeah,” he answered, when they pulled away again, “It was more than ok.”

Rin’s lips quirked in a still-too-dazed-to-smile half smile. Then, he let himself roll onto his back and pulled his knees up, feet planted on the floor. One hand came up to touch his lips. He finally smiled.

Haru lay there motionless, taking in all those subtle changes. He knew Rin was moving through some sort of inner path, probably recalling memories and debating with himself. Unlike himself, Rin was transparent. All his emotions ended up on display, be it through radiant smiles or helpless tears.

“Haru…”

There was an extended hand between them. Haru dragged his arm towards it and their fingers interlaced.

“I was really scared I’d screw this up. But I’m glad we did it.”

Haru smiled to the ceiling. The change he had been wanting to put in motion had happened sooner than he’d thought. He would have to let Rin come down from the high to know how things would be like henceforth, but that was another step. For now, he wanted to burn this scene into his mind.

Rin olled to the side, facing him, and he began to rub lazy circles on his wrist. He had a thoughtful look in his face.

“Na… Haru? I’ve confessed that I had never… but what about you?”

 _Uh?_ Was Rin really asking him about his _experience_? It was close to none, so he could _almost_ truthfully say that he was also…

“I mean, have you ever been with anyone?”

He considered for a second more. It didn’t feel right to omit even such a silly thing. Not on a day like this…

“I kissed someone once,” he paused, to look at Rin’s face. His eyes had widened, but he didn’t say anything. “A girl, a long time ago. The date was set up by our friends - it was a bit of a trap really. At first I thought I’d buy her something and wait for it to be over, but when we were walking around a thought started to creep in to my mind. I started to question my mindset and it scared me. Then, when I was walking her home and we were one block away, she stopped and faced me. I knew that was my opportunity, it was then and there or I would never know for sure. I kissed her. I must have been flustered because she looked really happy and ran away giggling. I saw her go inside her house and wave back before she closed the door. I stood there for some time… trying to feel… something. But I never did. And so I knew. From then on I tried to lock away that side of me. It wasn’t so difficult, anyway…”

By the time he finished his story and trailed off, Rin was frowning in confusion.

“Hang on… so, you didn’t feel anything for that girl, for girls in general, or for anyone? … Just now, did you…?”

Haru chuckled, turning to the side to mirror Rin’s pose.

“I did… feel _something_ just now, Rin.”

“So you…”

He nodded. He didn’t feel he could say it out loud just yet.

“You could have found someone… Makoto, or…”

“Rin, stop it…”

“Damn, Haru… all these years you knew something like that about yourself and you kept it from everyone… you kept it from _me_. You let me treat you like shit… I… damn…”

With just the warning of a quirky wrinkling of the nose, tears started flowing from Rin’s eyes. Haru sighed.

“I thought you didn’t feel like crying…”

He scooted closer, bringing his hand to Rin’s cheek, wiping trails of tears, then smoothing strands of red hair and tucking them behind a reddened ear.

“Forget about that. It’s tomorrow that we need to think about…”

Rin, sighed, slowly easing away from the bout of tears.

“Right… tomorrow… you will meet Mikhail…”

“Yes.”

“And you will need to decide.”

He nodded.

“Then I will have to convince you to choose Sydney...”

Haru almost choked at that. _Wilful as always_. But his eyes were filled with mirth. _Rin_ …

“Will you show me a sight I’ve never seen before?”

“Tch… You still remember that line…” The picture of a young Rin with the most beautiful smile in the world came to his mind, filling his chest with something warm and bubbly. He pulled Rin closer and whispered in his ear-

“I could never forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Sorry for the late update - I have been under the weather in both literal and figurative senses. I hope I can put next chapter up sooner than this one.
> 
> Unfortunately I have never been to Australia, so all descriptions throughout this fic are intentionally left vague and postcard-like. If you notice any discrepancies or would like to contribute some color and insight you are most welcome!
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Next up: back to the water!


	4. Chapter 4

For all his practised aloofness, Ikuya was almost painfully fond of some people. He also had a childish habit of picking heroes, that he would then admire to the point of copying their every move. He had not gotten to that point with Rin, but when the red head failed to turn up for practice for three days in a row, he seriously began to worry.

That morning, of the third day of absence, as he walked into the aquatic centre, a guy called Scott, that would sometimes hang out with Rin, came up to him.

“Hey, have you heard anything from Rin?”

He told the guy about their Sunday afternoon outing, and that Rin had gone home looking happy and well.

“A few of us passed by his place yesterday, but lights were off, no one answered the door…”

By lunch time, the rumours had spread among the swimmers and there was talk of calling the police and local hospitals. Around that time, Mikhail, the eccentric Russian who’d taken Rin as a pupil, waltzed in unfazed. Now that he thought about it, Ikuya hadn’t seen him around for the last few days either. He sported blazer and pants and had a paper file together with his other trinkets. He waved off a few people that intercepted him and then, noticing Ikuya’s eyes on him, walked by and tapped his shoulder.

“Don’t worry Kirishima-kun. I have a meeting with a prospective pupil later today and I have a feeling Rin-kun will make an appearance then.”

A new pupil. So there was someone out there that was as talented as Rin, enough to capture the attention of the man who had refused Natusuya. Jealousy mixed with a slight excitement. Ikuya had accepted Brown’s proposal based on the Australian coach’s robust reputation, but Brown had many athletes in his care. Ikuya could never have the sort of undivided attention that Rin got from Mikhail, and he envied the confidence that it carried along. _He even has time to think about relays_. All Ikuya wanted was to not be a complete failure.

His training for the afternoon was pretty much focused on improving his front crawl, the stroke that always reminded him of Haru. He launched into it dutifully, but pacing himself so as not to risk _that_ again. Despite the reinsurance provided earlier by Mikhail, he found himself wondering if Rin would indeed appear. It was not his place to make a fuss about it - or was it? How would the headlines go? - “last person to see the victim considered himself too irrelevant to seek help.” A pang of worry, and guilt. And perhaps, underneath it all, a little bit of longing. He decided, if Rin didn’t come by the end of the day, he would ask one of the Australians for his address and he would go there himself.

 

* * *

 

When he was done with a lengthy set of kick drills, Ikuya paused for a few seconds to drop the kick board by the block and look around. The lanes were still busy with swimmers doing their laps. He couldn’t catch any glimpse of black and red leg skins or wine coloured locks, so he just replenished his lungs with air and launched into freestyle proper. During practice, every paddle is a chance to improve one’s skill. However, instead of the analytic approach he would always take, studying each movement and, at the end of the lap, knowing exactly what he had done wrong, this time around Ikuya let himself be a little anxious, mind drifting to the lingering worry.

When he finally stopped under the block and removed his cap and goggles, he noticed two swimmers taking a diving stance on two adjacent lanes on the other side of the pool. The details were fuzzy at that distance, but he half guessed, half hoped that the swimmer on the closest of the two blocks, was Rin. It could be, considering the man’s build and the red stripes lining his legs. It had to be. His body tensed and placed a hand on the wall under the block, steadying himself.

Mikhail Makarovich stepped in between the blocks, holding a stopwatch. The swimmer that could be (had to be) Rin took a sidelong glance at the other swimmer and then returned his gaze to the water. His posture was all cocky. His hand reached the back of his head and snapped the goggles strap hard. Ok, so that was Rin. The man on the furthest block was probably the mysterious new pupil. From that distance, he could not observe much, except that the man was about the same stature as Rin, but slightly more slender, albeit bulkier than Ikuya by just a notch.

At the sound of a whistle the two men sprang upward and forward and hit the water in two perfect curves. They dolphin kicked while submerged and surfaced, arms exploding out of the water in butterfly stroke. The race went on for a quick 100 metes, Rin touching the wall with a narrow advantage, then hoisting himself out of the pool, peeling out cap and goggles, and pulling out the other guy. The Russian gathered them for a briefing, and all three examined the times marked on the stop watch. Rin was laughing and cocking his head, between boastful and, oddly, somewhat shy. He kept stealing sidelong glances of the more slender swimmer beside him, who still had his cap on, but had pulled his goggles to his forehead.

Ikuya had never witnessed that kind of behavior on Rin, who was usually casual and easy going, but also sober and professional. The Russian was still talking to them both, but while the mystery swimmer kept his eyes on the coach and his arms relaxed along his sides, Rin edged closer, and, throwing him another furtive glance, brushed the inside of the boy’s palm with his index finger. With a simple gesture, almost unnoticeable to the inattentive, Rin told himself away. Ikuya couldn’t quite identify the feeling, but something sickening, like a fever chill, passed him by, and he pulled himself out of the pool.

At that moment, Mikhail seemed to be done with Rin, who picked up a towel and started walking to the stands.

“Oi, Kirishima!” The voice that came from the red head was loud and a bit giddy. “You have to see this, man!”

Ikuya followed Rin’s gaze back to the block where the other swimmer was taking on a starting stance once again, Mikhail by his side holding the stop watch and pressing a whistle between his lips. As he gave it a sharp blow, the swimmer jumped back into the water.

“This,” Rin said, “is what I’ve always been striving for.”

His voice was warm with affection and pride. The swimmer emerged from his dive in fluid strokes of front crawl. It was fast and effortless and Ikuya could only think of one person who swam that way.

_I only swim free._

The man in the pool was Nanase Haruka.

For a moment, the hurt of knowing Haru had abandoned their team seemed like a faraway memory. Haru was swimming again. He had just swam 100 meters butterfly - at a level that allowed him to contend with a specialist in the style - and was currently flip turning, to emerge once again in his beautiful freestyle. Seeing that body gliding seamlessly through water filled him with joy, but then, with a wave of clairvoyance, a multitude of thoughts came crashing over his mind. Thoughts about their relay team and the shadow of another relay team. The sadness in Haru’s eyes whenever they practiced exchanges or swam the relay. Makoto very vaguely mentioning a boy who had gone to study in Australia. A boy who now stood beside him, with stars in his eyes and a fist clenched over his chest. It all fell into place for that one moment and Ikuya understood - why Haru had quit and why (in all likelihood) he had started swimming again. The closeness between them and the telltale finger rub flashed in his mind. Haru swimming butterfly. It was strange and somehow wrong. _Who are you swimming for now?_

“Ikuya?”

The whirlpool inside his head came to a sudden halt and he found himself looking into serene blue eyes that he had almost forgotten.

“Haru.”

Rin looked between them,

“Heee? You two know each other?”

“We went to middle school together,” Haru supplied.

“Wait a minute...” Rin seemed to come to an epiphany. “Kirishima... But you don’t look alike at all...”

Now it was Haru looking between them.

“Ha,” he nodded, “my brother came here a while ago, so I suppose you met then. We don’t talk much, though...”

Haru frowned, holding his gaze for an instant.

“It’s fine. We are in good terms,” he clarified, which earned him a small nod from Haru.

“Are you done with Makarovich coach?” Rin asked Haru.

“Yes. We can go now.”

After another furtive glance thrown his way, Haru finally peeled off his swimming cap, revealing semi-dry messy hair. Rin started to talk about this or that place to go to for bites, mentioning that he’d been there with Natsuya, and suggesting that Ikuya should pay his brother’s tab from back then, all the while absentmindedly smoothing strands of hair over Haru’s forehead. Ikuya physically winced. _I only swim free._ How could that be true when Rin’s body language so emphatically screamed possession. Haru was not free anymore and that made Ikuya feel queasy.

He ended up excusing himself on the account of a headache, going home to a cold bowl of quinoa and kale, and calling it a night.

 

* * *

 

 

As the following day unfolded, it became painfully obvious that Rin was irritated and Haru was dejected. Whatever had happened after Ikuya left them outside the station on the previous evening was not helping either of them. After lunch, coach Makarovich returned with only Haru, having shipped Rin off to the gym. On that afternoon, Haru only swam free.

With the source of his woes out of sight, Haru’s swimming started catching the attention of everyone in the pool. Other swimmers would come to Ikuya and ask about the unknown Japanese talent. After the first awkward interactions, Ikuya started to reply, “we were once team mates”, and the fuzziness that he remembered from back then found its way into his chest once more. It was annoying, and tinged with something else - resentment, or jealousy, perhaps disappointment or longing - but it had resurfaced from the pit of anger where he’d thrown it, all those years ago.

It was hard to concentrate on his own training, so it was a relief when Brown ended the session for the day. Around the same time, Makarovich also excused himself, leaving Haru to swim alone. Rin was still nowhere to be found.

If Ikuya wanted to pull the same stunt and keep avoiding Haru and Rin, this was the perfect getaway. But then it wasn’t. Because he couldn’t bring himself to turn his back and leave Haru swimming alone on an empty pool. And so he towelled himself, put on his warmups and lingered around while Haru swam lap after perfect, lonely lap.

The problem was, he had no idea of what he should do when Haru came out of the pool. Invite him for a drink? Propose a race - _their_ race? He was the worse person in the world to offer support to a friend. He had no idea if he could still call Haru a friend. There was a monstrous distance between them. He didn’t know if he could do it. Maybe he should just leave after all.

But then Haru was slowing down and letting himself drift, for a few seconds, then stopping and taking off his goggles. He wasn’t looking for anyone, keeping his eyes on the water and lazily dolphin kicking his way to the edge of the pool. Perhaps he knew that the one he wanted to see wasn’t there. Perhaps he didn’t really want to see anyone in particular. This was Haru, after all. But as he place one hand on the wall and looked up, their eyes met. Ikuya started walking towards the other man and when they were just over a meter apart, Haru still in the water, Ikuya felt the corner of his lips turn upward and his voice coming out cheerful, fond, when he said,

“Nice swim Haru!”

In that instant he knew that he was parroting somebody else’s words. The image popped in his mind clear and vibrant: Hiyori.

“Need a hand?” He added.

Haru looked genuinely surprised, and still a bit breathless from his intense training. He shook his head and hauled himself out of the pool.

“Thank you,” he replied, and clearly not knowing how to proceed, he just stared at Ikuya with tired eyes.

Oh, right. Ikuya reached for the side pocket of his backpack and pulled out his bottle.

“Water?”

Haru accepted it and took a swig, answering “thank you” for the second time.

The gurgling of water flowing to the drain, the murmur of fans, a faraway pop tune, perhaps from the janitor’s desk. Time seemed to drag as they both stood by the pool. Then, almost silently, Haru plopped down on the block, eyes still on the water. Sitting there with the whole expanse of empty lanes before him, Haru seemed completely alone.

“I don’t know where to go,” he said, in such a low voice that almost blended with the ambient sounds.

“Did you two fight?”

Haru nodded, then added - “my fault, I guess.”

“You can crash over at mine...”

Ikuya knew Haru had acknowledged his offer, but it was just another small, unconvinced nod that plunged them both into silence once again.

Haru busied himself for a while adjusting the straps of his goggles - a bit tighter, then looser again.

“Do you still want to race me?”

It took Ikuya a moment to process that Haru was indeed referring to _their_ race - the one he’d asked Haru for under a starry sky.

That night Ikuya had been brave. He had spilled his thoughts almost completely- he had only failed to tell Haru how much he really admired him, blaming his hesitation on a shooting star.

“I... I do... but I’m not at your level,” he stuttered.

Haru glanced over his shoulder, quirking an eyebrow.

“Nonsense”, he dismissed. “But it’s fine if you’re not up to it. We can do it whenever you want.”

Haru must have seen the shadow of disbelief that passed through Ikuya’s eyes, because he added-

“I’m not going to quit this time.”

Perhaps it was too hasty to conclude so, but in Ikuya’s mind it was clear that whatever led Haru to quit swimming in middle school had something to do with the mysterious relay team member who has left them. The same person who had made him miserable during the day that was about to end. So he poked the wound, just to make sure.

“What if you and him..?”

But Haru interrupted him,

“I will not quit,” he repeated. “Even if we fight and make each other hurt, I will not give up on swimming, and I won’t give up on Rin. They are both things that are precious to me.”

“Haru,” was all Ikuya could utter. But at the same time he heard those two syllables coming from elsewhere. Both him and Haru turned their heads.

Rin was standing between them in his tracksuit, eyes red and puffy, and a single red rose in his hand.

“I am so sorry Haru.”

_Red_. So that was the true nature of their relationship.

“Idiot,” Haru muttered, “it was my fault.”

And it was back, the dynamics of the day before, but now Ikuya saw it in a different light. Rin did not seem possessive and Haru did not come across as submissive. There was just a very clear fondness - love - between them.

“I’ll be on my way then.”

Haru eyed Rin in a soundless plea and Rin said, as if on cue,

“Wait, Kirishima, h-have you eaten?”

If only all things in life could be fixed with a red rose. He found himself wishing he could buy all the roses in the world and fix all the things that remained broken. But that was a thought that he needn’t share with these two.

“Thanks, but I already have plans...”

“Oh! Shame…” Rin sighed.

After a quick stop in the locker room, they headed out of the aquatic centre, and took the same train into town, mostly in companionable silence, then parted ways. Ikuya had taken two steps away from the couple when he looked back on impulse. They had interlaced their fingers and were talking quietly, heads so close that their bangs could touch. He smiled and turned away. 

Ikuya ended up walking home thinking of friendship and relays. Not many days ago he had felt conflicted about the whole idea, but now he found himself working out a line up - Haru on free, Rin on fly, Ikuya on breaststroke. And he knew just who he would like to have on backstroke, but that person was far, far away.

The flat he shared with two other students was silent, except for a faint beat coming from one of the rooms. He kicked his shoes and went to the kitchen. He still had a pasta bowl with seaweed and pecan nuts. He picked that and a banana from the fruit basket and sat by himself, scrolling through his phone.

After having adapted to America as a kid, Australia had been a breeze. He couldn’t really say that he missed Japan - not in the way that Rin always talked about cherry blossoms, or how Haru had always been attached to the peaceful slopes of Iwatobi. But he missed the people that he’d left behind.

On his phone, the occasional texts from Natsuya lay interspersed among more frequent attempts of contact by Hiyori. He sighed. It was not a red rose, but it was something. He tapped on the latest entry and pressed “call”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Am I the only one who thinks that the Ikuya arc in the anime resembles a bad telenovela? Perhaps this was my attempt at a sort of fix-it (although Hiyori doesn't actually appear, so we don't know if he's still playing the evil rich fiancé in this verse as well - hehehe). What do y'all think?   
> I have added one more chapter to the final count, making this 4/6. This reflects a (I think) better planning of the story and (because I'm a pattern freak) allows for 2 chapters per character POV.   
> As always I welcome your feedback.  
> Cheers!


	5. Chapter 5

As a competent swimmer and Olympic hopeful, Rin knew full well that one should take dry land training seriously. Rin also knew that, on that particular day, his coach had sent him to the gym to blow off steam. He had been stewing all morning and it was driving everyone crazy. It was driving _him_ crazy.

He had barely made it past the halfway mark when the proverbial towel was thrown to the floor with a grunt, and Rin stormed out to town. At first, he wasn't sure of how to make use of his escape. Perhaps he would hit a bar and - at the peak of his rebellion - have a pint. Sydney was peppered with memories of Haru, since that other time, otherwise, he might have just gone somewhere with a nice view and think. Instead, he found himself cutting his journey short, because on the platform at one of the stations he saw someone selling flowers.

Rin knew that uncomfortable situations always made him behave like a dick. That was just something that happened to him sometimes, even though he might not mean it. So when he saw the flowers lined up in jars outside the train, he jumped to his feet and ran out. He would get something for Haru, head back and apologise. 

It was only after he had carried out part of his plan and was boarding the train on the other side of the station, that he realised he should have given the language of flowers at least half a thought before making his purchase, because, given the circumstances, red roses were the worst possible choice. Or maybe he had let his thoughts betray him - the mantra his head had been repeating on loop since last night -

_I want him. I want him so much. Why? Why? Why?_

And so the bouquet of red roses in his lap suddenly felt too obscene. At the last minute, right before he re-entered the aquatic centre, he balked and threw all but one flower in the bin.

The afternoon had faded into evening, street lamps lighting up along the way. Haru would probably be swimming alone by then. In Iwatobi, or even Tokyo, that fact would have been as unremarkable as 2+2=1, but this was Sydney. On their first time here, Haru had panicked when Rin had been gone for a minute to buy water. His pace quickened. _Shit._

When the pool finally came into sight, from the shade of the access tunnel, the first person he saw, standing next to the blocks, was younger-brother-Kirishima. Right below his standing figure was another one, siting on the block in a _thinker_ pose. Truthfully, it made him feel a bit better to know that Haru was not alone, but with someone familiar, someone from home. Rin had just failed him again, and it was getting harder to bring himself to finally deliver his apology. Looking at the Kirishima boy, the adoring look he was casting upon Haru was hard to miss. Perhaps there was something there, a rekindling of an old flame. Had they met when Rin was away? The thought clenched at his chest with iron grip. How many times had he left Haru behind?    

He forced himself to step out of the shadow, and took step after careful step towards the pool. None of the boys seemed to noticed him. They were speaking softly, words too breathy to understand. He thought he heard Kirishima offering Haru to crash at his place, but Haru didn't seem to move. He felt self-conscious of his red rose and past mistakes, but still he carried on, almost stepping into their field of vision, Haru's words becoming increasingly clear with the approach. “I won’t give up on Rin”, he heard, and it took him just seconds to call out, though Haru might have still been talking when he did. He just couldn't stop himself.

Ikuya chaperoned them for a while and, when they finally parted ways, Rin gathered whatever courage he had left and asked Haru, “Is it still ok if I hold your hand?” and Haru nodded, offering his hand quietly. It felt warm and good, like the beginning of something.

 

* * *

 

Taking their showers and cooking dinner provided enough excuse to postpone their talk for just a little longer. Haru was in the bathroom and Rin was staring at the shelves of his opened fridge, trying to decide what to feed Haru. He should have ran to the fish market instead of stopping at that flower stand. Now thinking about it, Haru would probably appreciate a nice, fresh fish much more than a bunch of flowers. He still had some dry pasta and frozen prawns. Aglio e olio it was. It still involved seafood and, as swimmers, they needed the carb.

He pulled a few garlic cloves off the bulb and, one by one, started smashing them under the blade of a knife. There, enclosed by the walls of his small kitchen, in his small studio, everything seemed so stilted. He wished they could be back at Russel and Lory’s cabin, with the mountains all around them, and the carefree vibe of those first days. It had all gone so fast. Waking up next to Haru on that wooden floor seemed like a lifetime away. His mind drifted to all the small new things that they had incorporated into their relationship since that day - soft kisses and interlaced fingers, sleeping next to each other, Haru’s smile.

Upon their return to Sydney yesterday, they had presented themselves at the aquatic center. Haru was to be tested for training under Mikhail, so the return to reality could not have been postponed.With admin and other procedures, it had been well into the afternoon when they entered the pool. Mikhail had then uttered the magic words. “I want to see a race. The distance is 100m, the style is butterfly.”  It was hardly fair to test Haru in one of his weaker strokes, despite his bravado, but Haru agreed and they found themselves in the water, dashing towards the other end of the pool. It was such a different feeling from their freestyle races. He could feel Haru close behind him, swimming fast and forceful, closing the distance. When they finally tapped the wall and he looked at Haru, he saw a slack jaw, a chest heaving and a flush in the cheeks. It then hit him that he had made Haru look like that - breathless, undone - and that idea did _things_ to him.

Maybe that was when it all went downhill, because ever since that race he was yearning to see Haru like that again. And it wasn’t another butterfly race that he had in mind.

Those thoughts finally came close to materializing when they reached Rin’s studio and he unceremoniously pressed Haru against the nearest wall, a leg pressed between the other boy’s thighs.

They kissed for a while, hot and deep, until he pulled Haru by the wrist and pushed him down onto his bed. Had it been it too much, too fast? The signs had been there - the rapid progress of their new, still unnamed, status giving Rin the boost he needed to not stop, to carry on exploring Haru’s body in a way he had never done before. His hands slipped under Haru’s t-shirt, the smooth synthetic fabric caressing his skin in return. He closed his eyes and thought that if he made himself believe he was dreaming the nervousness would go away. But even then he couldn’t help thinking of Haru’s pleasure, because there was no point in this if they weren't both losing their minds (like he was). His fingers fluttered and hesitated a couple of times before decisively slipping beneath Haru’s track pants. Rin had no experience with this kind of thing. He knew, of course, how he liked to be touched (or so he thought), but Haru's lack of reaction made his heart sink. Perhaps, if he opened his eyes, he would see the emotion painted on Haru's lovely face and he would find the courage to do what his fingers were itching to do. And so he cracked his eyes open, and found Haru’s upper body bathed in moonlight and city glow. His eyes were fixed on the glass overhead. So beautiful, so distant, so cold.

“What the hell, Haru?”

The boy’s eyes gently met his, quizzical.

“You’re not into it.”

Haru shrugged. “But you want it, don’t you?”

Looking back, it may have been a bit irrational, but there’s nothing rational about desire - or pride. Tears flew angrydown his face.

“Damn Haru, if you didn’t want this, you should have said so.” He said between sobs, pulling himself back. Haru followed him up, bracing his back on his extended arms.

“Sorry.”

“Fuck,” Rin said once, while he struggled to lift himself up further, the aching bulge in his pants suddenly too big, too ugly. “Fuck,” he said again, paddling awkwardly to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Halfway through dinner, Haru broke the silence.

“I don’t want to break up.”

The words jolted Rin to attention. He laid his chopsticks across the bowl.

“So, what’s the deal then? Yesterday, you were just... tired?”

Haru looked away, killing off a small hope that he’d completely misread the situation.

“No.”

He took a deep breath.

“So, you said that when the girl kissed you, you didn’t feel anything, but you felt something when you kissed me...”

“Yes.”

He cursed inwardly. Was Haru going to stick to yes/no answers for the whole conversation?

“It’s like...” Rin was surprised to hear Haru’s voice again, “I really did feel something, but I don’t think it’s just because you’re a boy and she was a girl. It’s more like... I don’t know, you being you...”

Ok, so that was something. Confusing, yes, but he could try to make sense of it.

“Haru, so, yesterday, when exactly did you switch off?”

“I didn’t switch off. I was there. I was feeling everything.”

“But you looked...”

“Like I wasn’t interested?”

“Yeah...” Rin sighed.

Haru looked down. The flow of the talk died down slightly. Haru decided to go back to picking on tiny bits of pasta with his chopsticks.

“Sorry.”

“You already said that!”

“Then what do you want me to say?”

Haru punctuated the question by putting his chopsticks down on the table with a clack.

“Sorry,” Rin echoed.

They kept silent for a moment, both idly staring at cold pasta.

“ _A-soo._ ”

Haru spoke so softly that Rin couldn't catch it.

“What’s that?”

“I read something a while ago. About this... I was trying to understand.”

Haru fished his phone from his pocket and gave it a series of taps and pulls. Then, he handed it to Rin.

The article was... hard to swallow. It was written in English and Rin wasn’t sure how much of it Haru had really understood. He gave it another skim, before scrolling up and down and looking up to Haru again. What did this mean for them in the long run? Did he have it in him to carry on with what they had, on these terms?

Haru had his eyes on him, trying to read him like his life depended on whatever Rin would say next.

And then it all hit him full blast - the waves of affection, the years of obsession, the magic of rekindling. He found himself wanting to simply wrap Haru in his arms and keep him there forever. An unconquerable warmth made its way to his whole body and he realised he was smiling. Haru really was terrible at English. Only him could mispronounce a three letter word (was it even a word?).

“It suits you, you know?” He said, aware that it came out of nowhere.

“What does?” Haru asked, slightly thrown off balance.

“That word you said - it also means someone who is the best at what they do...”

“I’m not the b-“

Rin cut him off with a kiss. Haru kissed back. None seemed ready to let the moment fade, but they really had to pull apart after a while. When they did, Rin cradled Haru’s face in his hands.

“Haru, I don’t want to break up either. I never want to break up. Ever.”

Tears were prickling at the corner of his eyes, but his smile was larger than life. Haru was smiling back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this ended up a bit too brief (sorry!), but I kind of like it. Ace Haru makes sense to me, even though I had not initially intended to go there in this fic. Well, hope you enjoy this. Next time, it's wrap up time.


	6. Chapter 6

The reverberation of the shout still buzzed in his head. The night had done little to dampen his resolve.

“I will take on the world!”

To yearn for water, to feel one with the water - those were sensations he had known for years. In his stubbornness, Haruka had thought that they were sufficient. Swimming was just swimming and water was just water. But then his friends had come along. Rei, Makoto and Rin had nudged him in the opposite direction - away from being ordinary, towards something greater.

It was the 100 meter free final. His body glided through the water, forced into a clockwork precision drilled into it by Azuma. It wasn’t free, but felt good in its own way.

The roar in his ears grew louder as the seconds frantically ticked by. It was outright thunderous when his hand hit the tiles. And then it struck him that it was not the echo of his own shout anymore, but a chaotic cacophony of other sounds all molten into one.

His feet touched the bottom of the pool and his eyes took in the surrounding uproar. Blurred faces began to come into focus. His heart was still racing. One of Hidaka’s team managers came rushing to him, with the coach trailing behind.

“Nanase! Are you alright?”

He let the short man in his team’s track suit pull him out, then took off his cap and goggles.

“Nanase-kun, congratulations!”

“Haruuuuuuu!”

That was Makoto’s voice. He would have recognised it anywhere in the world. He looked up to the stands, to the origin of that sound.

“Oblivious as always.”

And that was Rin, standing beside him, towelling his hair and beaming. Had he been there all along? Right, he had been fast, he could tell, but had he won?

“You just broke the tournament record”, Rin informed nonchalantly, pointing to the scoreboard. His name came in first. “…you made national team, of course…” he added, toothy grin and a wink - “…and I did too.”

Oh. He looked up again. Matsuoka Rin had come in second.

* * *

 

 

In the end, everyone assembled outside the venue by some unspoken agreement. Makoto and Nao-sempai came down with the Iwatobi gang from the stands. The Kirishima brothers came next, dragging along a quiet and rather grumpy brown-haired boy that couldn’t take his eyes off Ikuya. The younger Kirishima would throw him furtive looks and blush. Rin had Sousuke, Gou and the Samezuka students and alumni waiting for him. Haru saw them all converge into the same point, all the while staring at the two figures that had intercepted him on the way out, after a haze of ceremonies, photos and interviews. His mom and dad.

“Haruka…” it was his mother who spoke first. “Congratulations! You did so well!”

He took a step forward and felt the medal heavy over his chest. He lowered his head in a bow. His father placed a hand on his shoulder.

“National team now, huh? My son representing Japan…”

It was strange to receive that praise. It was not new. Sometimes his parents would show up by surprise to watch his swimming meets, but the events of the recent past had made time seem to stretch, so that it felt like a decade since he last had seen them.

“I will work hard and do my best.” He bowed again, and his father squeezed his shoulder a bit more. It should feel good, Haruka thought, and made an extra effort to take in the lingering warmth.

When they joined the little friendly crowd gathered on the steps, all seemed as surprised as Haru had been. He sought Rin’s eyes and saw them widen and then drop in dismay. His mother seemed to notice that exchange, and took a step towards Rin.

“Matsuoka-kun? Is that you?”

“Ah, Nanase-obasan. It’s been a long time.” Rin nodded, awkwardly.

“You can say that! Look at you, you’ve grown taller than my Haruka!”

“Mom, you’re embarrassing him.”

They were saved by the arrival of Mikhail and Azuma, seemingly walking arm in arm

“Can someone take care of him? He wants to drink wine.” Azuma asked no one in particular, with a look of mild annoyance. All looked away except Natusuya, who seemed to liven up even more.

“If I take you out into town will you let my kid bro and I be your pupils?”

Mikhail beamed.

“Kirishima-kun! What a kind offer! What would I do with Rin-kun though? I couldn’t possibly leave him alone in Australia, could I?”

“Hey?!?” Rin protested, but Haru saw something underneath, barely hidden, in the form of the briefest pause, a sole glance into the void.

Haru was yet to make a decision about the coaching proposals.

Azuma took this cue to excuse himself, leaving the Russian behind.

“Was that PKH Azuma?” Gou’s voice suddenly attracted everyone’s attention. She clamped her hands over her mouth. Mikhail beamed.

“And you must be Rin-kun ‘s lovely and tasteful sister. Say, would you have the chance to show me your collection of rare photography albums...”

Gou looked at her brother, lost amidst the awkward Japanese and the strange request. Rin looked like he wanted to dig a hole and get himself in it.

 

* * *

 

Haru had dinner with his parents in an elegant sushi bar, near their hotel in Ginza. They would fly back to Kyushuu the day after. Mother did all the ordering, while her husband spilled trivialities about student life and adulthood. To an outsider, Haruka mused, the man beside him could be mistaken for a distant uncle or an old teacher. He quietly nodded along and ate his sushi. The fish was very fresh and fatty, the rice was fragrant and the wasabi was grated directly from the bulb.

In the morning he met his mother at the hotel lobby and joined her for breakfast. Father had an early conference call, so he would have a coffee in the room and meet his wife at the lobby before proceeding to the airport.

They sat facing each other near the glass wall. Outside, elegantly dressed tokyoites flashed by. His own neighbourhood was a far cry from the bustling business district, but he liked all about his small studio, the nearby pool, and even his daily commute.

“You have changed,” his mother said.

“I went to Australia last month. It was my second time there.”

“I see,” she lowered her gaze to the tray in front of her. Eggs with mini sausages and toast. Haruka had the Japanese set, with salmon and rice.

“I have two scouting offers - one for Sydney and one for Stockholm.”

She froze, fork rattling on the plate.

“Will you go?”

He shrugged. What did it matter anyway? Iwatobi, Tokyo, Stockholm… no matter where he was, they would always be apart. The truth was, he could not picture a life in which they were together anymore. He had realised long ago, that he didn’t wish for it.

“Your friend, Rin, he’s in Sydney too.”

Something in her tone hit a nerve.

“Rin is not my friend. He’s not just a friend.”

Her eyes widened, but then she nodded, taking a sip of her tea.

“I was not a good mother.”

“Why?” His voice came out like a blade. “You suppose if you’d been around I would have turned out different?”

“No. You are right. I am sorry if I insulted you. You have made your own choices.”

Her tone was still soft. It cut through him, because he knew she was being sincere.

“I have most of my classes in the morning. I practice with the university team in the afternoon and sometimes in the evening with Ryuuji-san. I meet Makoto and the others almost every day. I cook breakfast myself, but sometimes I buy takeaway for dinner, or eat out. After Australia, I also video call Rin every other day. We mostly talk about training. I miss him a lot. I havemissed him, since he left, after elementary school. I don’t know if i want to move anywhere, though. I like it here. In Tokyo you can be no one.”

They finished their meal in silence. When they stood up from their seats, mother leaned her head onto his chest. The top of her head reached just below his nose. He dropped a hand on her shoulder. She pushed him away, looking up, taking him in, eyes calm and unwavering.

“My grown up boy.”

And she walked away.

 

* * *

 

 

With Rin in Iwatobi for the next two days, Haru went back to his normal life, albeit with a sense of strangeness permeating the familiar motions. He would walk past a ladies’ boutique and be reminded of the particular cardigan his mother was wearing when he came out to her during breakfast. He would catch sight of a sports magazine on a stand and the idea that he was now part of the national swimming team would sink in like something at once overwhelming and unimportant. Rin would text him a selfie with Gou and his cat Steve, and his heart would stop for a brief moment, because their relationship was now something different from what it used to be, and yet in the surface everything remained unchanged. And finally, all little details of his life, the simple, unremarkable life he cherished, reminded him of the choice he was yet to make: Tokyo, Sydney or Stockholm.

It was in this bizarre sort of mood that, one afternoon, he walked into his training centre, to find a tall figure in a yellow and blue tracksuit, standing by the front door.

“Albert?”

“Allo!” The blonde raised a big, paddle-like hand.

“You in Japan again?”

That was certainly not the right phrasing, but his tone must have made up for the poor English. Albert nodded.

“We were invited again. Next week we go to Korea.”

“Sorry... I no answer yet...” Haru scratched his head and frowned, trying to dig out English from his brain.

“No problem. Are you going to swim?”

He gave Albert a once over. He had a duffel bag slung across his back, and under the snug track pants Haruka could make out where the seams of his jammers compressed his skin around the waist and lower tighs. It was obvious enough that the man had come in for another showdown.

It turns out that Albert was quite condescending when it came to practice. Hidaka’s coaches were not in until the next day, so the two them did continuous laps side by side. Haruka was distinctly aware that Albert was bringing down his speed, picking up only at times, to wake him up, and slowing again when they were back to a satisfying pace. Used to going all out with Rin, this made Haruka slightly frustrated. So, when they finally emerged, he asked Albert for a race.

They climbed out and took position on the blocks. The moment they hit the water Haruka knew he would lose. Albert was on another level. He felt the pull of the water ahead, the turmoil left by the passage of a storm. But Haruka did not feel disoriented, he did not get swept away by the tide. His body responded to the challenge in a primal way, pulling at its reserves, the engines that roll when all other functions are impaired. He swam. He chased Albert with the peace of mind of knowing that one day, if things were favorable, he might catch up.

When he hit the wall, Albert was already pulling his cap and goggles, staring at some point outside the pool, and grinning.

“Haruka, you were even better than last time!”

Haruka smiled back, then followed Albert’s gaze to where it had drifted once more. Beyond the blocks, standing in his legskins, red hair pulled back by the strap of his goggles, was a very horrified-looking Rin Matsuoka.

When they met, it was clear enough that Rin was fuming, and Haruka had a clue of what might have caused that.

“Do you want to swim?” He asked, foregoing other greetings, even though they hadn’t been together since the end of the All-Japan invitational.

“No,” Rin replied. “I thought I’d join, but it seems you’re done for the day.”

“Suit yourself,” he dismissed, but he couldn’t say that the salt in Rin’s words completely displeased him. He would, of course, gladly swim a few more laps with Rin, but he felt less inclined to humour Rin, than to explore the effect that this little bout of jealousy was having on himself.

“Matsuoka, is it? Congratulations on your qualification.”

Rin gave Albert a sideways glance, then said “thank you”, in a flat tone.

“If you are both free, should we go somewhere? I’m hungry.”

They ended up in a family run restaurant not far from campus. The interior was cozy, with aged wood lining the walls, and assorted memorabilia giving it a quirky vibe. Most importantly, it served the best saba no miso ni in Tokyo. Haru had tried to copy it at home, letting the fish simmer for almost the whole day, but hadn’t managed to match the perfect balance of richness and lightness.

The place was still quiet in the early evening, so the waiter appeared only seconds after they had settled on a corner booth.

“Two orders of saba. Rin, what do you want?”

Rin scowled, surveying the handwritten signs over the counter.

“I’ll have the same,” he finally decided.

Haru almost choked on the tea he’d just been poured.

Albert was looking between the two of them, probably trying to understand what was going on.

“You even chose his food now.” Rin spat, making his Japanese as imperceptible as possible, in the off chance that Albert might know a bit of the language.

“Rin, what is this about?” He asked, in the same sort of thick accent.

“Nothing.”

Turning his face away, Rin raised his hand to call the waiter. “Beer, please!”

“Wha-“ Haru started.

“I’ll have the same,” Albert said, copying the exact words Rin had used minutes earlier. So the guy was definitely a quick learner.

Sticking to his oolong tea, Haru watched as the other two men slightly warmed up to each other as they sipped their drafts. They conversed in English, so Haru didn’t really catch every single interaction, but he was fine as long as Rin wasn’t trying to murder anyone, especially not a freestyle swimming world record holder.

The food arrived and they all were quiet as they tasted the first few portions. Haru was proud that both his companions were apparently enjoying the meal. He plucked another decadent, soft morsel of miso glazed fish and brought it to his mouth. He closed his eyes and for a moment forgot about everything else. Nevermind Tokyo, this really was the best dish in the world.

“Saba freak,” Rin nudged him.

“Your plate is clean.”

Rin looked down at his plate and giggled. “Yeah, it wasn’t bad.”

“Delicious!” Added Albert, while still chewing the last piece of his, which he followed with a fluffy cloud of rice, before washing everything with the last few sips of his beer.

They sighed in unison, sated and satisfied.

“Na, Rin... could you say something to him in English?”

“You mean interpret?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been speaking fine, why don’t you try to say it yourself?

“No, I want him to understand what I mean right.”

Rin raised an eyebrow to that, but acquiesced.

“Tell him I appreciate their offer and it’s an honor. Make it sound nice.”

That made Rin chuckle, but he still rendered the message in English in what seemed like a more elaborate way. Albert smiled and nodded.

“Now tell him that he is great and I would really like to swim with him - don’t make that face, Rin - but I will not be able to accept a full time position in Sweden at the moment.”

Rin’s earlier scowl visibly softened. Haru thought he looked smug, even, while talking to the Swede. When he finished, Haru continued-

“And ask him to ask his coach if they would consider me for a short term program - up to 6 months. If that’s an option i will sort it out with the university.”

This last bit made Rin frown yet again. Albert started nodding and said something that Haru didn’t fully understand.

“What did he say?”

“That they take swimmers for short programs all the time, so you can definitely do that. He will ask the coach to recommend you.”

He bowed to Albert and thanked him in English. Then, he paid the bill and they left the restaurant.

They offered to walk Albert to the train station, but the foreign swimmer flagged a taxi instead, saying that his stipend was still enough for that.

And so they were left on their own, on a warm Tokyo summer night.

“You want to swim with _him_ now.”

“Rin...” he felt the urge to touch the other boy in some way - hair, cheek, hand - but he just said, “not everyone uses swimming as a metaphor for _that_ , you know?”

“Jeez, when I say that I also mean swimming, you idiot… So you’re not going to Sweden?”

“No.”

They had started walking along the same road. It led to the train station and further ahead to Haru’s place.

“I’m not going to Sydney either.”

Rin walked with hands in his pockets, slouching under his oversized baseball cap, a bulky backpack perched on his shoulders.

“I figured.”

“Come home with me.”

Rin gave him a once over, but then his face was overshadowed by something pained.

“It’s fine, I’ll go to Narita. There’s a capsule lodge... it’s pretty decent for an airport...”

There were other students passing by, bicycles, and the odd salaryman. There were shops along the whole stretch. For once, though, Haruka didn’t care. He reached for Rin’s hand with his own and forced red eyes up to meet his.

“Rin, _please_ come home with me.”

Rin’s breath caught, his lips parted, eyes seemingly suspended in Haruka’s solid blue.

“Ok.”

 

* * *

 

 

Haruka’s diminutive flat was tidy and smelled of lavender detergent, from the clothes drying on a rack by the window. Rin was like an odd vase in the barren space. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with himself.

“What time's your flight?” Haruka asked, to break the silence.

“Tomorrow morning at 8.”

He acknowledged the answer with a small nod, then went on to pour water in the kettle and shake the last of the tea leaves from the packet into the pot. When he came out of the kitchen, Rin was sitting on the floor browsing a low cabinet where Haru kept random books.

“You read manga?”

“Asahi brought them the other day. It has a good plot.”

“And a lot of blood. Who’s Asahi?”

Haruka took a basket and began to fold the clothes on the drying rack, while the kettle gurgled in the kitchen.

“The red-haired guy from my university. He was in the 50m free, but he swims butterfly.”

“Like me, huh?” Rin looked up from the book he was idly flipping through.

“Well… not really.”

The kettle snapped and Haru went back to the kitchen counter to pour the water into the pot. He could hear book pages turning rapidly. The flat was that small.

“Asahi, Kisumi and Makoto come by once in a while. Otherwise, we meet at Asahi’s sister’s cafe. She lets us play with the baby. I like it, it’s cute. Ikuya also joined when you were in Iwatobi, a few days ago. He’s good with kids.”

They locked eyes as soon as Haruka walked out, balancing the pot and two cups on a small tray. Then, Rin began to laugh. Haruka just stood there while Rin cracked up on the floor - face relaxed, eyes closed, back against the floor and arms spread wide. Haruka placed the tray on the low table and sat down cross legged. Rin’s laughter eased until it turned into ragged breathing.

“Haru, you’re so funny, you know?”

“Rude.”

“Come on…” Rin rolled onto the side and hugged Haru’s torso, nuzzled his hip. “I like it. I really do… Haru… I like you so much…”

“Rin…” Haru was not expecting the sudden change of mood. Rin wiggled his head onto his lap, curling around him with his whole body, like a cat. He stilled for a moment, but soon his fingers began to thread the soft red locks that framed Rin’s face. Their eyes found each other again, and stayed in that same alignment, as though it was completely natural, to look into each other’s soul so casually.

“Haru, it hurts… I don’t want to go…”

“Then stay.”

“I want to, but I…”

“Natsuya-sempai got your coach drunk the other night. He said he’d live in Japan.”

“Huh?!? That guy…”

“So, it’s up to you, Rin. I’m not saying you should do it for me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Rin pulled himself up from Haruka’s lap, coming to sit. He hesitated a split second, then gently kissed his lips. Haruka kissed him back with eyes closed and hands resting on his lap, where Rin’s head had been. Rin moved around him, then started to press froward, leading Haru onto his back. When he was fully own the floor, Rin straddled his legs, then lunged forward and kissed Haru again, elbows on each side of his head, hands gripping his black hair.

Haruka felt his heart beat faster. Rin’s body, a hard yet supple mass of muscle, weighed down against his. His lips tingled with the licks and nips, the press of tongue prying them open. He let them open. Rin’s tongue entered him, wet and full, a sudden assault of taste and odor - not unpleasant, just human, living, real. He didn’t know how, but his throat produced a strangled moan. He stilled himself. Rin stopped. His eyes were dark when he pulled back, sitting up and straddling Haruka's legs.

"Haru, I don't know what I'm doing..."

“It's ok." Heat prickled at his cheeks. "I don't want you to stop.”

“But I don't know... how far... and if you... ahh...” Rin clenched his fists over Haruka's stomach, frustration at his lack of eloquence transpiring from his expression. "Haru, I don't want it to end up like last time."

Haruka considered for a moment, he didn’t want to promise too much, but his judgement was clouded. He felt an irresistible pull towards Rin. It had always been there, dormant, throughout his life. In their races, in their arguments, in this new way they had found of interacting with each other.

It was funny how people took attraction for granted. Young beautiful people were naturally drawn to one another. But why didn’t it work for everyone? Why had Haruka always been so indifferent to it all? And why was Rin Matsuoka an exception?

Maybe he wasn't truly asexual, maybe he was just scared. Maybe he was something in between. Maybe he felt all bold and daring now but all would come crashing down when it all became real. He felt like a fraud. He was so confused. He wanted, he feared, he wanted. Rin was leaving. There was no time.

Rin's chest was heaving visibly, intercut by what seemed like repressed sobs and shudders. It didn't feel right. Rin had a beautiful body, a perfect home for his larger than life persona. He felt an urge to feel that body, to become privy with its every inch. The plains of a ripped stomach curved inwards as Rin let himself roll to the side and held himself up on an elbow. There was a lump in his pants. Haru had put it there, but it was now steadily shrinking. A sense of urgency washed over him.

_Rin is leaving. There is no time._

Would he let him do something, even if half baked or insignificant?

As though perceiving his doubt, Rin cocked an eyebrow. His frame had begun to relax. "Haru...?"

"I-I don't think I want you to do anything to me... not yet... but would you let me touch you? Just a little... I don't know if I can do it right, but I'd like to."

At that moment Rin blushed a glorious crimson. It was a pleasure to see. Maybe - maybe what he proposed to do was not that insignificant after all.

"O-ok."

Rin's eyes followed him as he straightened himself up and pulled his t-shirt over his head, then pulled at the hem of Rin's top and did the same.

They looked similar now, both desirable at the eyes of the world. He pushed Rin down, back against the tatami, and unbuttoned his jeans. Rin closed his eyes. Haru took a moment to just admire the beauty of that exposed figure. Rin's skin was fair and soft. A millimetre or so of auburn stubble was starting to poke at his inner thighs and the line that came up from his boxers. Haru took a deep breath and pulled them down, following the line all the way to the groin.

Rin's cock was slightly longer and thicker than his own. Haru's hand went to it on instinct. It felt soft and solid, like the lump of flesh that it was. It instantly stiffened under his touch.

"Haru, are you really ok with this?"

"Hmm," he said without hesitation. 

"Ok. kiss me, Haru."

There was a boyish smile on Rin's face. Haruka leaned down and kissed that grin. His arm extended, his palm turned downwards and found Rin's groin again. He felt Rin shift underneath him and one of Rin's hands closed around his, while the other pulled him deeper into the kiss. His fingers were guided up and down, rubbing, gliding. Then Rin's hand left his and came up to his waist, leaving him to work on Rin's pleasure on his own.  

From then on, it was like their movements were locked in slow motion.They tangled their limbs together and explored. None of their kisses were rushed, none of their touches were bruising. They were a picture drawn in pastel - soft strokes of lips on skin, smudges of fingers kneading on taut muscles, blotches of wetness left by eager tongues.

Rin was sensitive. He responded to every ministration with sighs and soft moans. He started arching his back and contracting his buttocks, pushing himself higher against Haruka's body. It didn't take long for him come undone. When he did, it was like gushes of paint shooting out of a tube, a beautiful creamy white splattered over the rosy nude of his stomach. The whole process had drained Haru a bit. He felt tired and on edge. Rin was panting heavily. They fell back, side by side.

“Haru…" Rin murmured a beat later. "Was that alright for you?”

He laughed softly. Rin pouted.

“I liked it,” he said, and interlaced their hands. "I liked it a lot. What about you, Rin?"

Crimson eyes opened. The ceiling was graced with a secret smile.

"It was amazing, Haru. Thank you. Thank you so much."

 

* * *

 

 

Rin woke up at dawn. Haruka heard the shower water before he realised he was alone in his small bed. He forced himself onto his feet, intent on preparing some simple breakfast, but when Rin came out of the bathroom, fully dressed for the journey, he said he couldn’t stomach any food just yet. They used the remaining time they had to hold each other tight. Haruka let Rin cry a little on his shoulder. It had been the same in Australia, the last time they had parted.

“I’m always leaving you behind,” Rin said in a very quiet voice.

“Not this time.”

Rin raised his head to face Haru, tears still adorning his lashes.

“I’m not staying behind this time. Not like in middle school, not like a year ago.”

Rin buried his head in Haru’s rumpled t-shirt again, inhaling the smell of his sleepiness. “That’s right, you are the one who’s pressing ahead, Mr. freestyle record-holder…”

“It was just the tournament record.”

Rin shut him up with a kiss.

They parted by the apartment door, but Haru found himself trailing to the balcony to watch Rin walk down the street. Before the turn of the corner, Rin looked back and waved, then pulled up his headphones and disappeared behind the building.

Haruka didn’t feel like going back to bed. He threw away the tea that had gone cold the night before and, having run out of tea leaves, poured himself some simple hot water.

His art history readings lay beside the small pile of manga volumes that Rin had been looking at. Tucked in the corner was a funny looking book. It was rather thick and colourful and Haru could swear he’d never seen it before. He pulled it from the shelf and read the title - “English for Dummies”.

“Rin...”

Like bubbles in the sea they drifted apart once more. But this time he knew that, some day, they would drift back together.

He smiled, leaned back, and opened the book.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there and thanks for reading!   
> I am truly happy that this story caught the attention of a number of you. It's my first Free! fic, so it surprised me positively.   
> (I went and wrote a bunch of other Free! stories after this - do check them out if you will)  
> I decided to give it a review though, as there are some themes I feel I didn't deal with well enough. I will do it bit by bit and at snail pace, so feel free to treat this as a finished fic.  
> I appreciate all your feedback and do feel free to say anything - simple comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are all equally welcome.


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